Well, a lot has been on my mind lately. Not only has my life been moving in supersonic speed, but a lot in my life has changed. I’ve realized that one simple decision can alter your life forever. It was one night, one too many stupid decisions. Little did I know that it would break apart friendships, cause drama between parents and even change your state of mind about life. This semester of high school has definitely been the most eye opening for me. I lost my best friends but I also grew in self awareness. I have been focusing on myself and fixing my internal issues with myself. I hope that one day I can live up to my goals, hopefully all of this dreaming isn’t for nothing. While I’ve been working on myself and my confidence, I’ve also hit rock bottom in my esteem. It’s crazy that the real world is going to hit soon and I’m excited to see what college has in store for me. But I’ve been questioning my abilities and my strengths. Am I good enough or smart enough to get into medical school? Do I have what it takes? Should I pursue something less competitive? Those are the questions that have haunted me for the past 5 months. I’ve been alone, at least emotionally, this semester and I’m not sure if it’s a positive or negative experience. Sure people have talked poorly of me, sure there are rumors spread by those friends that I have lost. But maybe college will be a better place for me; a new atmosphere filled with new experiences. I’m excited but also terrified. This is probably just pointless high school drama and in 6 months I’ll forget all about it. Maybe I’m just pouring my heart out and worrying for nothing. But these thoughts have been occupying my mind and I can’t seem to shake them. My goal in life is to grow. To hold more knowledge and learn everyday, to have enough confidence in myself to not worry myself to sleep every night, to branch out and experience. Thank you Mr. Lindner for aspiring me to learn something new, to read a little more and to take action. Of course all of this learning and experiencing will require action, so hopefully I can pry myself of my fears and branch out into the world. I think it’s time I wrap this blog post up, but these are the thoughts that have captivated my mind. It will all be different in a couple of months, and I will shed this skin and become a new person. Senior year taught me to do what you need to do in order to find your happiness rather than searching for happiness in others. Life is out there waiting for me to live it.
Peace and blessing, A&M Consolidated, peace and blessings.